I’m Tired of Pretending

…that it wasn’t hard, that my heart didn’t break a million times, that my heart doesn’t break every time I heard a friend can have a baby with ease, that I should feel happy. I’m tired of the guilt of not being happy for them, of being sad, of not appreciating that I got to have one, as if that should be consolation. Infertility is grueling, not just during, but after, forever.

Belle Boggs tackles these feelings and more in her new collection of essays, The Art of Waiting. From essays called Baby Fever, Imaginary Children, to Just Adopt and wrapping up with Paying for It, a perfect essay title for families that pay more than just money when things don’t go as they planned, these essays are like looking in a mirror and at the same time knowing you are not alone. Belle Boggs is a voice to be heard, and in it, she speaks with the voice of many who have faced what she has in struggling with fertility with a blend of history and personal experience. If you have been through it you will devour it. If you haven’t, read it even more closely, because someone you love has and is.

About Belle Boggs

Interview with NPR

Belle Boggs article in The Atlantic

Follow her on twitter @belleboggs

Life in Four Directions

crazybraveJoy Harjo’s Crazy Brave is part history, part memoir, and part poetry. A recounting of a life from inside the soul that encompasses the way history impacts our lives at every turn.

Joy Harjo barely survived a rough childhood by running. Not running away, but finding a place where she was known. At an arts boarding high school she learned ways to express what her stepfather and life had told to be quiet and to bury. Turned on to the arts, her soul began to fly again. But even the sky has storms. Continue reading “Life in Four Directions”

Avalanche

avalancheWhen people say they had trouble conceiving, or having a baby, or things were difficult, those are both euphemisms and over-simplifications. The trouble is never just trying to have a baby. The trouble becomes the fracturing of a relationship strained to cracking as two people try everything to create something together. It is the explosion of promises little girls are fed, the certainty of motherhood-now just a dream wrapped up in a nightmare. The broken dream of family, the arrow of jealousy between friends-one who can get pregnant on a whim, one who cannot for literal love or money.

Julia Leigh bares all in this tale of a woman struggling to have a baby, struggling with connection, struggling with career, struggling with her very soul. A searing look into the world of infertility and the heart of a woman. Continue reading “Avalanche”